Hello, Im Jason and I want to talk about video called 'Spring'. One day, a little monk put a piece of string tied to a rock to a fish, frog and snake. A monk was following little monk and saw what little monk did and at night he put string and rock to little monk. Later, little monk know what was wrong. Think about when you did wrong things to other people. Do you think that people will help next time? Maybe not. Now, I'll talk about 'Spring' and what I learn from that video.
To begin with, in 'Spring' I can find similar point that relate to my life. The little monk learned something by doing something wrong. Everyone learns something because they did something wrong. A few years ago, I was very happy because I had lots of free time during vacation. I was playing and watching TV programs. Can you imagine what will be happen? Of course. Iended up with a lot of undoned homeworks. Therefore, I regreated it. When I go to the school, my teacher was upset. At that time I learned something new. I learned that I will have to do my works steadily.
Moreover, I will talk about my friends and animals. My friend knows that we must study hard because he failed at a important test. Also, he was disappointed that he failed at the test. How about animals? For example, a dog was playing frisbee. Also, dog is going to catch it. Dog will know that jumping is more easy to catch it. People, including animals are learning by practice or doing something wrong. Little monk know something by doing wrong. Also, animals can learn by doing wrong.
In conclusion, I want to talk about my summary about my essay and real lesson about video 'Spring'. I said about my experience. Also, I learned that I will do my work whenever I have time. Now, I'll learning something new, too. Next, I say my friend's experience and animals are learning, too. I think this video's real lesson was we can learn something by doing wrong and when we make another person angry or sad, they will make ypu angry and sad, too. I think I learned a lot of things in the video 'Spring'. You can learn something in this video. Part 1. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=l60PamQWMZA) Part 2. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nJjUNJSAIjE). How about you watch it now!
You have good examples, but you need to organize them clearly. I suggest you put the TV example and the friend example together, to discuss the importance of knowing the consequences. And then talk about the animal cruelty issue. And then form the conclusion. i think that would be a more efficient way to present your contents.
ReplyDeleteThank You. I'll try to fix it.
DeleteThis is a good essay but you need to work on the organization of it. It should be organized into the introduction, body and conclusion. The examples from your life belong in the body. Good luck!
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